My Worship Revolution

I know, another introspective post after yesterdays sharing.  But that’s the thing.  Yesterday only tells part of the big picture.  And no, this has nothing to do with the dad mentioned in the prior post.

All the time you hear about people who’s fathers are horrible representations of God.  This often creates a barrier to people seeing God as the loving and caring "Father" that He is.  Perhaps if I got stuck focusing on my biological pops that would be true for me as well.  But I was ridiculously blessed to have a different story.

My stepdad.  I never called him dad.  He was always Vic.  I think I was 6 or so when he and my mother were married.  I even vaguely remember the wedding.  But he was always my father.  He took me on camping trips.  He was at every one of my shows, events, etc.  He was a big dude, and most of my friends were slightly afraid of him when they first met him.  Until they discovered the size of his heart and the gentle spirit that came along with it.

He pumped me with encouragement.  I’ll never forget the time we were sitting at a show or something and there was this amazing pianist playing.  I think I commented about his mad skills, and he told me that he and mom hoped knew I could do that one day.  And he meant it.  It hadn’t ever really crossed my mind till then that I could strive to be the best at something.

He passed away when I was 16 years old.  He truly was my father.  He poured himself into us.  And it wasn’t always easy.  I never spoke with him much about faith.  In fact, it was after his death that I found comfort, healing,and community in Jesus for the first time.  I don’t know what he believed exactly.  But I can’t think of a better example of God’s love and acceptance.

Someday I hope that Rachel and I will have the opportunity to adopt.  I want to do so because I think in a way, it will give me a small glimpse of God’s heart for me, a Gentile, grafted into His plan and adopted into His family.  But I also feel the confidence to do this because I had an amazing example.  And it’s helped me to understand God’s adoption of me into His Kingdom.

It’s been over 11 years since I last hugged him in a parking lot in El Cajon.  But if he were here, I’d want him to know how thankful I am for the example he was to me.  An example of fatherhood. An example of God’s love.  Thanks Vic.

And to all you Dads out there who are doing the same, Happy Father’s Day.  I hope it rocked.

It was the summer of 1993.  I was 14 years old.  I remember being at the gas station at the Navy base when my mom told us.  Us being my sister, Megan, and I.

"Bobby, Megan, Your dad wants to come out here and see you guys."

OK, perhaps a little backstory is helpful.  My mom and dad were divorced when I was almost 2.  My mom was pregnant with my lil sis.  He moved to New York.  I don’t believe I saw him once between 2 years old and the point my mom shared this with us.  He sent child support monthly, but was never actually a part of our lives.

I got to meet him that year.  Some of the similarities were uncanny.  Appearance (yes, he’s short too!), sense of humor, mannerisms.  I was glad I got that opportunity.  We kept in contact a bit.  The last time I saw or spoke with him was October 2001.  I visited there a few times.  But he just never was good at keeping in touch.  It’s all good.  I’m still glad I got to meet him.

Now fast forward another 14 years.  I’m 28 years old.  It’s my turn.  It’s hours away from my first Father’s Day.  I’m a dad now.  And it’s flipped my world upside down…in amazing and wonderful ways.  One of the places our similarities stop will be in fatherhood.  I always wondered how a man could possibly conceive a son or daughter, and not have the absolute need to know that child and be involved in their life.  Now I wonder even more.  I can’t say I necessarily fault him for it.  He is who he is.  But I just can’t imagine it.

The greatest honor I have in life, next to being married to my amazing wife, is being  father to an amazing, bald, blue eyed little boy named Caleb.  I can’t imagine living another moment of my life without being involved in his.

Sometimes, on the nights when he’s being a punk, and he won’t go to sleep, I get the privilege of holding him on my chest and rocking him to sleep.  I sit there at times and wonder what he will become.  I think in that moment, as his eyelids are getting heavy, the soft glow of light is bouncing off his cheek, and his hand is resting on my shoulder, of the days ahead when he’ll be ticked at me cause I have to punish him for something.  The times we’ll toss around a ball in the front yard.  And as I look into his deep blue eyes staring up at me, I wonder what it would be like for him if he could only remember back to this moment someday like I can.  What the view must be like staring up at dad’s face as he falls asleep.

Whatever it is that the future holds, I want to be there to guide him and see him grow up.  Thanks for being my son, Caleb.  Thanks for a Happy Father’s Day.

First day home.                                    This morning.

LAST WEEK"S UPDATE:

current pledges = $25.01 per pound

weigh in:      173.2 lbs
week1:        168.2 lbs    total loss:  5lbs         =    $125.05
week2:        166.6 lbs    total loss:  6.6 lbs     =    $165.07
week3:          163.6 lbs     total loss:  9.6 lbs      =     $240.10

THIS WEEK:  TAKE A LOOK:

                          make a pledge – make a difference

Bummer.

My new toy.

Now I just gotta get it all set up and find out what my new number is.
That’s all.

*UPDATE

Well…now I’m just frustrated.

Not sure who to be pissed at yet, T-mobile or Amazon.  But my phone won’t work, they can’t activate my account, and I can’t get any answers from Amazon.  Details to follow in a later post…possibly a long one.

I am a slave to technology and especially to my cell phone.  I admit it.  I hate to go anywhere without it lest I can’t be reached.  This is why I am currently breaking into a cold sweat.  I will be without my phone for over 24 hours!!!

We signed up for some new service in an effort to get a local number and hopefully save some money with the Fave Five Family Plan.  I’m still not convinced it will be enough minutes for me, but we’ll give it a try.  I’m going from 3000 anytime minutes to 1000 SHARED minutes with my wife.  We’ll see if the fave five makes up for it. 

Anyway, all this to say, if you try to reach me at my cell phone ever again, you’ll be disappointed.  I’ll have a new number when my new phone and SIM come in the mail tomorrow, but until then, it’s e-mail, office, or home.  And if you want my home number, email me and I’ll let you know if you get it. 

Oh yeah – the good news…I can’t wait to get my new phone.  Not only will I have full internet access, including e-mail, but this is the phone that is being shipped out for yours truly today:


Blackberry Pearl 8100.

And I thought I was a slave to technology before.  This could be dangerous…but fun!

…I didn’t lead worship this Sunday.

I really have a value to not be the only person that’s ever seen leading worship at CLC.  Two reasons for this.  First – it’s not all about me.  If there are other gifted leaders in our ministry, I want to give them the opportunity to share that with us and do that ministry.  Second, I hope to soon see those who are developing that desire and skill of leading worship to be raised up in our ministry and eventually move in to leadership roles in worship, whether it be here or elsewhere.

So, that being said, Rachel Hopkins led worship this past Sunday.  She leads our youth here along with her husband, Kyle, our Youth Pastor.  During the interim before i came she led weekly.  It was nice to be off stage for the week and I was able to run sound in the process, giving me a better feel for our equipment, the room acoustics, and what our sound volunteers are working with on a weekly basis.

This is why I don’t have much of a "confessional" for this week.  I will however share one of the more interesting moments of the service.  As Rachel finished the first song after the message, a homeless gentleman who joins us on occasion decided to take advantage of some silent time between songs.  He made hi way to the front and began to "prophecy" (I guess) regarding the coming of the Lord which is close at hand, and ask us if we were ready.  Luckily, Dan, one of our prayer team members that was nearby handled it beautifully, tackling him and wrestling him out of the room.  Just kidding.  He just laid a hand on his shoulder and gently led him back to his seat.

Here was Rachel’s set:

You Are Good – Houghton
Forever – Tomlin

He Knows My Name – Walker
Amazed – Anderson
Amazing Grace (first verse)
Made Me Glad – Webster

Sing To The King – Foote

Like I said, I usually don’t care much for birthdays.  They kinda go by, you get some nice "Happy Birthday"s and the day goes on.  Never bothered me, just not a big deal.  Yesterday, however, I must admit was one of the best birthdays I’ve experienced.

It wasn’t cause anything spectacular happened.  It wasn’t cause of some phenomenal gift I received that I’ve been wanting for a long time to get.  (ie. video iPod, scuba classes, etc.)  Actually, most of all, it was the amount of love and thoughts I received from family, old friends in SoCal, and new friends here alike.  It was so great to hear from people who care for my family via e-mail, blog, myspace, and phone.  So to all of you who are such an important part of our lives, thanks so much for making yesterday such a great reminder of that.  You guys rock!

And so, while I unfortunately didn’t have a camera on me most of the day, a quick recap on the highlights of the days festivities:

Staff Lunch

Each time a person on the staff team has a birthday, we go out to lunch.  Being new to the area, I decided, rather than pick a place I had been to and liked, to visit a brand new burger place in town, Betty’s Burgers on Seabright.  No one on staff had been yet, but a neighbor told me it was the best burger you’ll ever have.  I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it was darn good!  All but one of the staff that I know of liked it better than Jack’s…which I guess says a lot!

Also, by dieting, I set myself up for some great birthday treats.
Lunch:

• 1/2lb burger
• chocolate shake
• root beer float.

Barbeque

Last night about 15 people came by the house for birthday barbeque.  We had a great time with barbequed chicken, lots of treats, and of course, Guitar Hero 2!

The Drive In

Part 2 of the barbeque was heading to the drive in for a double feature: Shrek The Third and Pirates 3.  I haven’t been to a drive in since high school and this was Rachel’s first ever experience with a drive in.  She brought along cookies, brownies and ice cream for us all (Moose Tracks…my favorite).  We sat in the cold with blankets over our camping chairs through all of Shrek and retreated to the car for the second movie.  Only five of us were able to hang through both movies!

Top 3 Gifts

• Jacket – Been needin one for this cold NorCal weather!  My wife picked a great on up from The Gap, clearance rack, marked down from $150 to $29.  Thanks babe!

• 
  
  Maclife – Thanks a ton to Will for the one year subscription!  Can’t wait to get started!

• Pelon Pelo Rico – Elisa Tyler just got back from 10 months in Mexico.  She was back for Easter and learned of my love for this wonderful Mexican candy and brought me back a small stash.   They’re gone!  Thanks Elisa!

About a week or so ago, Victor Estrada had a post on his site about a little contest he was starting for fun called Show Your Desk.  After showing how messy his desk was, and realizing he probably wasn’t the only one, he decided to see what other people’s desks look like.  He then decided to give out prizes for the following categories:

• Messiest desk
• Most pimped out desk
• Most random object on desk
• The "You call that a desk?" desk

Those of you who know me know that organized isn’t exactly the first word that comes to mind when describing me.  So I figured, what the heck, whipped out my cell phone real quick, and snapped a few shots.  Here’s what came out:

I told you I’m a mess.  Definitely think it should be in the running for messiest desk, and I don’t know if the Michael Jackson Anthology would count as a random object for a pastors desk or not, but it could count…yeah?  So check out the other entries and let him know what you think I should win.

Now, that’s only part 1 of the story really.  This also kinda motivated me to get my office together.  I’m ok with a bit of disorganization, but that was a tad bit on the embarrassing side.  So, after a bit of cleaning and interior decorating, here’s what the desk looks like now:

Ahhh…much better now.  Much cleaner, creative environment, and ready to invite people in for meetings.  I feel better, and more productive.

My wife‘s the bomb.  For those of you who don’t read her blog, she posted "28 pictures to remember 28 years" at her blog today.  A few of them I’m nt sure ever needed to be shown, but if you’re interested, swing by and check it out.  You’re the best babe.  Thanks for caring!

That’s how old I am today.  28.  I usually don’t like to mention much about my birthday.  Usually just kinda try to fly under the radar a bit, but what the heck.  I guess I’ll take some attention today. 

I had thought about posting a list today of things I’d like to do before I die, being inspired by Randy, Heather, and Jamie‘s 30 things before 30.  (Happy birthday to Jamie, by the way, who shares a birthday with me and hit that 3-0 today.)  Unfortunately I just haven’t had time to put it together.  I do hope to put one together sometime soon, though. But I thought I’d share my most immediate insight/revelation on this, my 28th birthday.

The other day I was in the car with Ed and he started remembering where he was at 28.  That was over 20 years ago for him (sorry if I sold you out there Ed!).  As we talked, I shared that one thing I’m beginning to realize is how much life I still have ahead of me.  Even at the "young" age of 28, it’s feels at times as if I’m running out of time.  There is such a sense of urgency at times to do everything I think God has ever called me to do.  I think some of that urgency is healthy, but some of it is also unwarranted.

Over the past several months, Rachel and I have felt a stronger and stronger sense that God is moving us toward one day planting a church.  The passion is growing and God seems to be speaking to us.  Someday that will come, but right now, I am so excited to be doing what I am doing and to be where I am.  It has been good to be reminded that we don’t have to run out tomorrow and find a way to plant a church, rather God has placed us right where we are to learn, to continue to grow, and to be leaders and make a positive impact right here at Christian Life Center in Santa Cruz.  It feels good to feel so confident about that.

So one day, God will entrust us with the opportunity to expand his kingdom in a different way.  But there’s plenty of time to get to that.  Right now, I’m learning to be patient and to trust God.  And if anything is going to bring on a sense of urgency right now, I want it to be the reality that a huge percentage of Santa Cruz county, the people right outside the doors of CLC and my own home, don’t know Jesus Christ.  THAT truly is urgent.  And I hope you feel that urgency as well if you know Jesus, wherever you live.  So go make a difference today.